Pivoting in Portugal

“Your new life is going to cost you your old one” - Unknown

One year ago today, I was on a flight from Madrid to Lisbon visiting Portugal for the first time. It's funny because I vividly recall my conversation with Communion Alum, Chef Shaquay prior to the trip that she would like to visit Portugal for a couple of days after her time doing harvest in France. I immediately said NO! Here is why, I knew for sure that Portugal was going to be an amazing experience and would force me to reevaluate my (personal and professional) life in a real way and I wasn’t ready for that, I just wanted a vacation which leads my response to her, a couple of days won’t work! So, I reshuffled my travel itinerary now that I had Portugal on the brain and decided to stay a month.

As I Approach my 6 month mark in Portugal, I am starting to feel lost, what is THE purpose of my time here right now …

Today, I am writing from my tiny moradia with my dog, Huey, sound asleep on my lap, I guess my assumptions were true, I felt confronted with fears during this trip. Making the tough decision to leave my comfort zone was easy actually, I realized I had to muster up the energy to do it.

 I started to think about my life differently when I eventually returned back to NYC because I tasted a piece of my future. I didn’t know how I was going to make it happen or when exactly, or for how long, but I was determined to leave the US once again, my soul needed it. 

I am currently part of 9 week business accelerator and competition that is forcing me to think about my revenue model more thoroughly. I spend my time full time somm-ing on the restaurant floor and on my days off creating personas, surveys to potential clients, identify my personal story, challenges and goals. And I am asked often by my peers here, ‘You are from NYC!, Why Portugal?’ 

 Personally, I knew I needed to be in a new environment, therefore even with extreme circumstances in my way,  I still made a long term commitment this past summer to Portugal or anywhere for that matter.

During my first few visits, I started to invest in finding my community which was less challenging here than in other countries, but I am finding it hard to maintain this network to be honest. I packed my life and downsized as much as possible in order to get out NYC, because honestly my lifestyle made me feel weighed down and I needed freedom.  The quality of living in Southern Europe allows me to survive off of less, though rent is expensive here in Lisbon, nothing beats the price I pay for groceries, public transportation, long distance traveling, dog grooming, dining out, and yes access to beaches. These are just some of the personal metrics that hands down makes Portugal better place for me to grind while in the thick of building myself and business up. 

As I approach my 6 month mark in Portugal, I am starting to feel lost though. Find myself questioning, what is the purpose of my time here right now at this very moment, I know the end goal but what about the journey. I believe this is most important for each person to identify for them themselves before moving abroad along . The challenges I have still remains, how to financially survive with no working papers as a foreigner and with a new business that is not profitable. Sounds like a recipe for disaster right? don’t worry there were situations that led me to this position, but I had no backup. I have come to the terms I need to do whatever it takes to make something happen now, and I need to think outside the box or maybe inside of it. I came to Lisbon and left my engineering career NOT to be on vacation but to expand my dream, develop and test my plan. When I worked full time it was easy to complain about how I did not have time and how tired I was operating a double life, but yet I did it, because that’s how much I wanted it. I have removed what was the distraction for my business, and I am still in my own way, slowing down progress. My path is unpaved and that’s the hardest part, not having guidelines.

I took the leap, I am out here, NOW What?  We often hear people say, Think With the End Mind, but I would add, But Don’t Forget About The Middle. Because to be honest, this is where we will spend most of our time. You know, just figuring it out; in the middle of a transition, in the middle of the struggle, in the middle of the hustle, in the middle of a breakthrough. My 1 year reflection is that my greatest focus should not be on glorifying Lisbon or Portugal, this feels like a goal achieved changing my mindset. I finally admitted to myself out loud I am a bootstrapping soloprenuer expat and building a brand.

Portugal in 2018 reached a new record of 28 million tourist and everyday here is full with endless festivals all summer, endless rooftops, crazy nightlife, easy access to wineries, and of course beaches galore. Finding a balance between how much of this I can take and actually getting things done was not my strength, but this what people come here for, right?

I knew this before, but I can confirm this to be true for sure now, MY LIFE REQUIRES A ROUTINE !! It’s the only way I can survive to be honest. The more free time and spontaneity in my daily life leaves me disorientated. It’s NOT just about writing a To Do List, every step has to be methodically thought out for me, I am learning; where will I work ? (because I am not a work from home kind of person) , what day will I go grocery shopping? what’s my largest goals for the week/month/season and set up some KPIs for myself, (before I decide to skip a work day for a almoço beach date, true story but it was fun tough :/ ) . Should I join a co-working space? When do I do laundry? What time should I go to sleep? What time should I wake up? What should I do first today? Can I take a break now? Having to define my lifestyle as an entrepreneur has been the largest challenge for me here so far. Not only am in a different with different work cultures but I have hired myself for the first time and I can determine my pay.

I am writing this mainly as self reflection and preparation for what I am actively working towards for next year and decade.  And as a reminder, I asked the universe for this very moment, and now I have the opportunity to GRIND for ME. However, I need to be conscience to free myself mentally from all the thoughts that can hold my creativity back now. When I achieve certain goals I have to give myself permission to fulfill my desires (like midday pasteis de nata) after all I live in LISBON, as a reward and motivation to meet my next target pastries help . My new motto to accomplish something each day, I have posted on my door: Plan, Prioritize, Prep, Pursue, Prevail!

Currently, I am in a state of evolution from NYC, from my previous work habits and motivators, from the community I have connected to most my life, from the career I left behind, from a limiting state of mind because this current chapter requires a version of me that not even I can not predict her magic.

Journal Post #1

#MyLifeInLisbon

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